Two little secrets to lasting relationships
Couples who thanked each other and laughed together were found to be happier in their relationships.
For a study, 47 couples were asked to either carry out mundane discussions or to express gratitude toward each other. After 30 days, couples who thanked each other felt their relationships became stronger, more adaptable to change, and more positive throughout the 30 days than those in the other group.
“Whenever you have an interaction with your romantic partner, that feeling you have when you walk away sets the stage for the next interaction with that person,” explains study author Sara Algoe, a University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill social psychology professor.
“If it were the case that my expressions of gratitude actually have an impact on your feelings about the relationship, then that would be some really good evidence that gratitude can help connect people and build these upward spirals of mutual love and support.” In other words, saying “thank you” — whether it be for taking out the trash or for that pair of diamond earrings — makes for a stronger relationship.”
The gratitude study inspired Algoe to look at other little things, like laughter. She found that people who spent more time laughing with their partner felt that they were more similar to their partner. Algoe says that, “They had this overlapping sense of self with the other person. We also found that the more people laughed with their romantic partner, the more they felt they were supported by that person.”
Laughter, like gratitude has to occur between two people to be effective. Putting a person in a room to watch a funny video clip doesn’t have the same effect, Algoe says.
